Tuesday, 13 March 2012
Mum (again)
Mum died this morning, just before half ten. We were all there, as usual - chatting together and involving mum although she was by then in a comatose state from the pain relief. Suddenly her breathing changed and we knew it was time. We stood around her bed, in her home, holding her hands, holding our hands, a circle of family, of grief and love. Mum gave a couple more short breaths and was gone.
A few days earlier, I had tried sketching her weary eyes.
I couldn't bring myself to sketch her after she'd passed away.
The rest of the day was very busy. Mum's body wasn't collected from the house til late afternoon. We got used to having our mother's shell in the place. We talked to her, tidied her up for the funeral directors and got on with the arrangements for her funeral. In the weeks prior to mum's death, we'd had some time to come to terms with what was happening.
I stumbled on some photos late in the afternoon - mum as a young woman in a black and white shot smiling in the company of a youthful dad. I cried uncontrollably for the first time in ages. Where has all that life gone? Anyone?
A few days earlier, I had tried sketching her weary eyes.
The rest of the day was very busy. Mum's body wasn't collected from the house til late afternoon. We got used to having our mother's shell in the place. We talked to her, tidied her up for the funeral directors and got on with the arrangements for her funeral. In the weeks prior to mum's death, we'd had some time to come to terms with what was happening.
I stumbled on some photos late in the afternoon - mum as a young woman in a black and white shot smiling in the company of a youthful dad. I cried uncontrollably for the first time in ages. Where has all that life gone? Anyone?
Thursday, 1 March 2012
Mum
My Mum has fought thyroid cancer for decades. It has spread to her torso. At the age of almost 77, she has decided to stop fighting it. With the support of my sisters, I help Dad to get a night's sleep every night by sleeping over and staying alert to Mum's needs: nausea, vomiting, discomfort, toileting. No two nights are hardly ever alike. Thankfully, we have the support of the palliative care team, district nurses, O/T for equipment, CHC funded services to provide personal care in the early evening - and lately, local hospice support, which will increase in its importance as Mum's health declines further.
In the late evening, once Dad has gone to bed, I sit with Mum, administer her last meds, then wait for her to settle. You never know if the nausea will come, or she may need the loo again, or her position might need adjusting. Mum mumbles things I can't quite make out, a mix of reality and confused dreams. She can no longer move, but she dreams of walking in the Lake District (I think BBC Wainwright series is the cause of that!)
Last night I tried to sketch her as she prepared to sleep.
In the late evening, once Dad has gone to bed, I sit with Mum, administer her last meds, then wait for her to settle. You never know if the nausea will come, or she may need the loo again, or her position might need adjusting. Mum mumbles things I can't quite make out, a mix of reality and confused dreams. She can no longer move, but she dreams of walking in the Lake District (I think BBC Wainwright series is the cause of that!)
Last night I tried to sketch her as she prepared to sleep.
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